(27 Posts)
pebbleshore1 Thu 30-Jun-16 14:03:39

Our child has been bitten by another 12 year old child at school which has left teeth imprints on their arm even though wearing a jumper and shirt. It is very bruised. The child wanted to sit where our child was sitting. The teacher was late for the lesson. Our child's books were thrown across the floor, replaced by another child and attempted it again until our child put their hand on the books to stop them. Then the child took our child's arm and dug her teeth in for about 10-15 seconds. This was unprovoked and follows unkind remarks and rejection of our child by the 'vampire child', even sending her an unkind text previously (which the school seems not to have done anything about). School said they would deal with it ... did not call us with any concern, however, following reporting it. Our child has told us the biting child tapped her on the head a few times when attempting to give a sarcastic sorry. Like they're a puppy! And walked around school smiling. Now told our child was called into room with year leader and biting child who was made to say sorry and our child asked to forgive other child! Forgiveness is good for our child - so not to carry around negative energy - but ... we do not think is any where near enough punishment for the biting child. School not been in touch. We had to push for a meeting. Our child was asked whether she could be any way responsible for other child's biting! We objected and was told to be quiet as it as all part of their investigation. Others have said they are not surprised by biting child's behaviour as she is like that ... behaviour described as aggressive and rough ... and has a vicious tongue. What do others think if this happened to their child please?

Thank you for your concern and interest smile

Tingalingle Thu 30-Jun-16 17:15:30

Well, you could move her to the Perse, I suppose.

Tingalingle Thu 30-Jun-16 17:18:49

Sorry. Evil.

Actually, this did happen to one of mine. Bitey child was known for it, apparently. The school asked if she'd drawn blood, told her they were unimpressed, and upped their supervision.

The school will be limited in what they can tell you about their handling or disciplining of another child, so an apology (however insincere) is probably all you can expect.

northofcambridge Thu 30-Jun-16 18:38:56

Agree there might have been consequences that you don't know about - and also circumstances you don't know about - but if you are not happy with how the school has dealt with then escalate - e.g. if talked to form teacher then bring up with the head of year and so on

cammel Thu 30-Jun-16 20:54:54

What is it you'd like to happen now?

You could consider reporting the assault to the police or telling the school you intend to do so.

I don't think the police get involved in school based violence often enough. But that is a personal opinion and others might disagree.

pebbleshore1 Fri 01-Jul-16 12:16:24

Thank you everyone for your views. Because of confidentiality the school have to be careful. But to give reassurance to the parents we thought they would be in touch after a week and tell us what the punishment is? This is evil behaviour, I agree, and worrying that a 12 year old acts like this when she doesnt get what she wants. The Police do want to arrest the child for abh, as we have taken advice but are afraid of further bullying of our child who is a calm and polite child who does not want to make it worse for herself - but she was attacked for no reason - and bullied by this child beforehand - who is a spoiled brat. School have never dealt with her - obviously! It is a difficult bag of emotions for us all. But moving schools would solve the problem? And the Perse is massive by all accounts so less likely bullying would be noticed?

Tingalingle Fri 01-Jul-16 12:29:56

Yes, sorry, the Perse comment wasn't serious - it's just that there's been a rather baffling spate of posts complaining about the Perse recently!

The school should be taking this seriously (and maybe they are, behind the scenes) but all you can ask is how they aim to make your child feel safe and confident after this episode - not what they can do to punish the other child.

Having said that, some schools are better than others at cracking down on bullying. I would be worried about the victim-blaming here, given they asked your daughter if she did anything to prompt the biting. How is she feeling about it all?

pebbleshore1 Fri 01-Jul-16 13:46:15

Yes I agree Tingalingle - our child's welfare is our priority; but it is disconcerting that the school has not been in touch with us with any reassurance, or plan. It has been a week now too. But, on the other hand, given remarks from other parents and their children - who knew her at junior school - they are unsurprised about this child's behaviour. It is now known she has also kicked our child, scribbled on and screwed up her work and been generally mean and unkind for some months now.

They are brushing it under the carpet and looking for a scapegoat as we have had several examples of foul language used and unpleasantness. They have their reputation to consider perhaps. But don't see why our child should need to move schools and be unsettled because of horrible bullies?

The child in question probably has been told off - but is not behaving like it by all accounts and now almost harassing our child with overwhelming kindness - quite out of character. So, we feel this is superficial and it is only a matter of time before she does something else; because she has not been punished enough to learn from it. Difficult one.

jaynebxl Sat 02-Jul-16 07:54:06

If the bitey child is now being kind it sounds like they did get told off and are making an effort to be kind now. I'm not sure you can ask more than that.

pebbleshore1 Sat 02-Jul-16 09:31:38

But it is a creepy kindness and she is known for aggressive behaviour but the teachers seem to turn a blind eye ... she will revert to type sooner or later ... that is what we are afraid of. It is not genuine. There are many behaviours among the children which are unpleasant and definitely unnecessary and do not make for good citizenship. We pay fairly high fees for this and expected much better at this girls' (almost co-ed/diamond) school. Anyhow, thank you everyone for your feedback. Enjoy the weekend smile.

Anna42 Sat 02-Jul-16 14:17:55

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JennyWren1234 Sat 02-Jul-16 14:31:51

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pebbleshore1 Sun 03-Jul-16 21:50:18

Oh why were wren and anna posts deleted? I read them but didnt understand bug comment?

But biting child which was a viscous bite with ++ brusing has been dealt with by school and police. Hopefully this will remind other kids there of acceptable manners and conduct and anything less than this will be not be tolerated.

pebbleshore1 Mon 04-Jul-16 13:52:43

Is this the Mrs Wren of the school?

JennyWren1234 Mon 04-Jul-16 14:02:29

No pebble. This is the Jenny Wren of the novel by Charles Dickens!

Tingalingle Mon 04-Jul-16 15:46:40

I'd take that down if you don't want to identify the school, Pebble, as it's not that common a name.

I think the deletions were for assuming you were another poster under a namechange, at a guess?

Anna42 Mon 04-Jul-16 17:44:53

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mummytime Mon 04-Jul-16 18:05:52

OP the child almost certainly has SN, so you labelling her as "evil" and "creepy" is highly offensive.
The only children likely to bite at 12 either have an SN or have been seriously abused (or are at the time being bullied severely).

Tingalingle Tue 05-Jul-16 10:56:50

To be fair, I was the one to say 'evil'. But actually, I was referring to myself (for evilly bringing the Perse debate into a thread that hadn't yet mentioned it!).

You're probably right about the SEN, mummytime. That was certainly the case for the child who bit DS.

gardner30 Wed 06-Jul-16 14:55:48

I'm really glad this has been sorted, so pleased for you and your child that you can put it behind you now. But if you do feel the need to move your child Perse Girls has an excellent reputation for the behaviour of its pupils and its pastoral is second to none. You should take a look around and see for yourself, I think you'll be impressed. 😀

Shells Wed 06-Jul-16 22:17:53

Hope your daughter is feeling better and safe. But agree with Mummytime. This other child almost certainly has other issues as biting at that age is really not usual behaviour. Your need for the child to be 'punished' is not going to help anyone. Concentrate on your daughter and ensure the school are keeping her safe. They are probably working with professionals to manage the other child.

pebbleshore1 Sun 10-Jul-16 20:08:47

? I am lost at your comments ?

pebbleshore1 Sun 10-Jul-16 20:14:44

Mummytime ... I find your response offensive actually. I wonder if you would feel the same if it were your daughter? Most probably not. The child is still a snotty madam looking for opportunities to be mean and highly offensive herself. Please remember there is a girl suffering on the other end of this nasty child on a daily basis and an almost class-to-class basis. Please do not even try and defend her - hardly anyone likes her because of her snotty spoiled brat attitude ... I am led to believe by other parents in the class. No special needs ... she knows what she is doing all right. Although, I do feel sorry for her ... just think what will happen when someone who is not as polite as our daughter takes offence to being bitten, and so on. She certainly needs help I would agree but that is not for us to do; we are protecting our daughter who is a polite, kind and well-mannered girl.

pebbleshore1 Sun 10-Jul-16 20:22:47

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pebbleshore1 Sun 10-Jul-16 20:27:40

Shells, you may be right. The school cannot disclose confidential stuff. But, despite everything this child has continued with mean and nasty remarks, aimed at upsetting and undermining our daughter during and between lessons. She does have problems - that is very clear and it can only get worse as her bestie has left the school now (and others avoid her because she is such However, I am more inclined to believe that her problems arising from being a spoiled brat as much, or more than, anything else. Anyhow, there is an unprecedented amount of them there and that came from one of their own teacher's mouth smile I do feel sorry for her but her behaviour goes 'un-noticed by teachers' until it is pointed out ... and others' have to suffer her.

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