RIE Parenting: A respectful approach to raising children

(12 Posts)
sthandim Sun 04-Sep-16 22:22:44

I have recently come across a parenting educator who I feel has a unique approach to parenting. She advocates for a respectful and authentic relationship with babies/toddlers. I love her advice and insight and would love to find other parents who would be willing to get on board and raise RIE babies/toddlers. This involves allowing our kids freedom of movement - a child will learn to roll/sit/walk at their own pace without any help. It's about nurturing focus and independent play by not interrupting our children. It's about talking to and involving our babies with care giving activities such as nappy changes/bathing/dressing etc.. it's about giving babies/toddlers a safe space to play and explore with minimal intervention. There is so much to it. I am currently reading Janet Lansbury books: Elevating Childcare and No bad Kids. What I feel I have gained from this approach is a confidence in setting limits, in accepting all of my child's feelings even while not allowing all behaviour. I feel confident in setting my own boundaries and following through. If there is anyone out there who would be interested in exploring this way of parenting, please get in touch by responding to this thread. I would love to start a wee mum/dad and baby/toddler group with RIE principles in mind.

jwl123 Fri 09-Sep-16 21:04:00

Hi! I would be most interested in learning more about this approach. I will look into Janet Lansbury's book to get a better understanding. I do agree with setting boundaries for children of all ages, but helping them gain some independence from the parents is very important.

Whereabouts are you?

CeeCee00 Sat 10-Sep-16 01:04:33

I'd possibly be interested. Would also need to have a read and see what I think... To second jwl where do you stay?

sthandim Sat 10-Sep-16 15:44:57

Hi, great to get a couple replies! I live in the south side of Glasgow. I have both of Janet Lansbury books, they are basically a collection of articles from her blog but it's handy having them all together. Have you managed to look at her blog? There are also RIE parenting videos online which are fun to watch. Where do you both live? How many kids? Ages? I have an almost 3 year old and a 14 month old. If we live fairly close by maybe we can work out a place and time to meet? I would be happy to lend my books/discuss this approach and how a mum/toddler group may work with RIE principles in mind.

jwl123 Mon 12-Sep-16 12:20:38

I haven't managed to take a look at it as it was a manic weekend. I will do it tonight.

We're at West End with three kids 6,4,2 years old. I'm new to Glasgow, so I haven't ventured out a part from school drop offs and pick ups. We just got a car, so until I feel more comfortable with the roads I will explore the area more. That said, I would be interested in meeting up. smile

sthandim Mon 12-Sep-16 20:06:27

Welcome to Glasgow! Where have you moved from? I know the westend well so would be happy to come meet you at a cafe (without kids) or a park with kids? My in-laws are over from Australia for a month so this might be the time to get out on my own! Do you have a parenting style? Seems an odd question! I have been doing a gentle/positive parenting approach since birth - avoiding punitive methods of discipline and generally trying to respect my kids emotions/thoughts etc...

jwl123 Wed 14-Sep-16 10:47:21

Thanks! We lived in London for several years, but are Canadian. I would love to meet up, but will always have my two year old with me, I am happy with either a cafe or the playgroud (weather permitting). I don't have a parenting style per se, but I know all my kids love language is touch, so trying to have the one on one time with them to cuddle - it's what keeps them happy. But with three, it's a bit difficult to do so when they all want your attention at the same time! Plus, it doesn't help when the two year old is quite loud with his demands. LOL.... I do try to stay positive and come up with a better way to say "NO" ie) Instead of "Don't touch!" I would say, "Hands off"

sthandim Wed 14-Sep-16 21:03:28

Hi, thats great you know their love languages. I am trying to figure out my kids.... my boy may be quality time (he often refuses hugs/kisses so probably isn't touch!) not sure about my daughter - she's 14 months so maybe it will become more obvious a bit later. One thing I do like about Janet Lansbury is that she as suggestions of how to talk to toddlers when it comes to things like not wanting them to touch something! My in-laws are here visiting from Australia until Oct 9th. How about we aim to meet up once they have left and if you have time you can check out JL blog (she has podcasts if easier to listen than read) and once we meet I can loan you her books.

jwl123 Wed 14-Sep-16 22:06:02

That would be great! Enjoy the rest of your visit with them - definitely miss my family!

I did join her FB group and read a couple of her blogs - will look into her podcasts!

CeeCee00 Wed 14-Sep-16 23:43:01

Hi, sorry to have taken some time to respond. I'm in southside too -we've just moved to Mount Florida. I must admit that I've only given her blog the briefest of glances but it does seem to tally with my general approach. My daughter is only 8 months so I've not yet figured out what my style is. I've read a fair chunk on gentle parenting and it struck a chord.

A meet up next month would be brilliant, we're flexible and around most of the time so happy to fall in around both of your plans/families.

Looking forward to it

CeeCee00 Wed 14-Sep-16 23:43:49

Ps...welcome to Glasgow jwl, we moved here from London last year.

jwl123 Sun 23-Oct-16 20:21:22

Hi All!

Thanks CeeCee00! Despite being here for almost two months, still trying to get use to the area. smile

So, since we last spoke, I took some of Janet's ideas and used them for the past four weeks. I have to say that I am amazed at how calm my children were - less crying, whining, screaming. My husband, also noticed a change in the children's behaviour. The first week we did it, it was a learning curve for us all. The second week I noticed a difference with how the children were playing with each other and we also reduced their screen time. Third and fourth week, there have been some minor bumps, but nothing that we couldn't control. I am so happy with how they are behaving, I have had thoughts about having a fourth (or maybe not!)

I would love to hear what you guys have been doing with RIE.


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